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hard to memorize

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Abe

Member

1/24/2026
8 Comments

Hi all. My wife is hearing impaired. I am hearing. We've been married 28 years. And I still know very very little. I can finger spell and understand if she goes slowly. I am having a hard time getting anything to stick even if I repeat the signs. It is hard to talk her when she's not wearing her hearing aid. (At night in bed/when her battery dies) Any tips or tricks out there to help with my dilemma? Any help would be greatly appreciated.

Discussion (8)

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Briana L.

1/24/2026

It takes a lot of practice to learn ASL. Try signing, voice off, common phrases you would use daily. Voice off is the best way to stop thinking in English as ASL has a completely different grammar structure and it's more conceptual than word for word.

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Mackaronni

1/25/2026

I concur with Briana, ASL takes practice. It’s a new language and learning a new languages requires a lot of effort. My wife & I have also been married 28 years so I’m assuming you and I are close in age. At our age learning something new, especially a language, is difficult. I started learning ASL a few years ago to build a connection with my non verbal grandson. My best advice to you brother is focus on connection rather than perfection. When you start to feel frustrated with the communication barrier remind yourself of why you chose this woman more than 28 years ago. This is just another part of your journey with her. Take your time. I know you guys know each other’s mannerisms. A lot of communication is non verbal anyway. She is willing to slow down and you should slow down also so you can focus on her face and posture. Some signs maybe exclusive to you & her because you made them up. That’s fine. There are over 200 variations of sign language. Connect with her and ASL will come.

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Mary

1/25/2026

I’m on the other side- married 40+ years. I’m losing my hearing. Husband was in denial about it for years. I’ve been taking him to audiology appointments. includes him in decision about CI. Asked for help with communicating as I lose more hearing. Our first rule is he has to be looking at me if he wants to talk to me. get my attention- just cos he said it doesn’t mean I heard it. none of this asking for something from another room. he tries the sign but mostly he pantomimes and we laugh. I can speak and confirm what I thought he meant. His arthritis makes finger spelling difficult for him and like reading italics for me. There are other ways to communicate. the trick is to keep trying. we’ve had times where we text each other in a crowded restaurant because I can’t hear. we are sitting across from each other and look like we’re ignoring each other but we are discussing details of life. it’s harder with my kids. my hearing loss came after they went to college. I hate holidays because everyone comes and they’re all talking at the same time and I’m alone in a crowded room. that’s when my husband tries to translate or texts me what is being said or asks for my input. your job is vital to keeping her connected to family and life. try everything- don’t worry about failing because the love is in the trying. good luck

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Rose

1/26/2026

Are you competitive? Do you like gsmrs? How about making some flash cards with common words. Desl them out and see if you can get more than her or invent some other game. Anyway, repetition is the key.

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Mackaronni

1/27/2026

Guess Who is a great game. I know it’s a children’s game but it helps learning colors, clothes and personal features.

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Rose

1/26/2026

sorry for the typos... arthritic hands.

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Sing and Sign 🎹🎹🙏

1/26/2026

1. Find a ministry or a program for the deaf get some connections with other deaf or hard of hearing ASL learners. 2. Have fun go in the mirror and practice conversations and your facial cues. 3. Practice,Practice!!!!😁😁😁 Below share ways that have helped you learn:😁

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Sing and Sign 🎹🎹🙏

1/26/2026

I practice in my mirror 🪞 And I learned songs I love in Asl

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